Second Chances

Have you ever given someone or something a second chance?

Sometimes we feel so hurt or turned off by a situation that it is tough to get past that and give it a second chance.  This can apply to anything from friendships to food choices.  Giving something a second chance means letting go of something.  You may need to let go of your pride, your bitter feelings, your ego, or you may need to let go of everything you thought you knew about yourself.  Second chances are a way to start over fresh and remove negativity from your life.  It can be a way to get healthy, both mentally and physically.  Second chances are not an easy thing to grant.

If you have ever been in a situation where you gave something or someone a second chance you know that this is not easy and you proceed with caution.  There is no need to let your guard down completely, but there is also no need to stay bitter for so long.  So I say, proceed with caution.  In the case of people, while sometimes we can change, in the absence of an agent of change, it is likely someone will not.  This means you may be disappointed to find that the second chance only brought back ill feelings.  But, you tried.  Second chances are great, but if you find it is not the right thing for you, there is no need to grant third and fourth chances.

While it is easiest to have second chances apply to relationships with other people, this really can apply to many other aspects of your life.  People to people interactions are a major part of everyday and sometimes it is in the best interest of a third party to grant a second chance.  It may be best for you too and even the other person.  Ah, but people are only one of the things we consider giving second chances too.  There are so many other things that can bring us happiness if given a second chance after an initial disappointment.

Here are some things to consider giving a second chance:

1) A friend you lost touch with for a "silly" reason: Silly or not, any reason that you had a falling out with someone you used to be close with can seem silly after time has passed.  While not all relationships can be repaired, often times we grow up and move on and what was a problem at that time is not a big deal anymore.  There was a reason you and that person connected the first time around and it may be worth it to bring them back into your lives now.

2) Foods- especially vegetables.  Tastes change as we age and what may not have been so tasty a few years ago may really have some flavor appeal now.  Last year I gave brussels sprouts and raw broccoli a second chance, and I'll be darned, they are both delicious.  Without giving them a second chance, as well as other foods I have previously kept far away from my meals, my diet would be missing out on things that offer a good nutritional value.

3) School: Maybe you tried college but it just wasn't right for you.  There are so many other options now for continuing your education that there is a good chance there is something out there that is right for you, if you want to try it again.  I am fully aware that school is not the right fit for everyone, but I do now that as time passes we change, we grow and we learn more about ourselves.  Some people are just not ready for school right out of high school,  but it can be much more meaningful a few years down the road.  Life experience can really enhance the classroom setting.  There is nothing that says you have to be a traditional student.  Education is something that is really important to me and I have seen people have success by giving it a second chance.

4) Fashion: Just because something did not fit right or look good the first time you tried, you never know.  Just like food tastes change, so will fashion tastes.  Our likes for colors and styles will change.  Our fabric preferences will change.  Heck, our bodies may even change and something might look good. when given a second chance.  I bet if you have lost weight recently and worked to keep it off, there are some things out there you are hesitant to try on.  If you are alone in a dressing room there should be nothing stopping you from trying on something that may not have fit right in the past.

5) Exercise: Maybe you did not like weight training in the past or running makes you cringe.  When was the last time you tried these or other forms of physical activity that you just didn't enjoy before.  Sometimes taking a break or letting time pass is enough to have a renewed sense of appreciation for an activity.  Maybe you were too sore after a body pump class or spin class to try again.  Now is the time to give it a second chance.  Likes and dislikes change.  We are truly dynamic beings.  Something, especially those we know have health benefits, deserve a second chance.  My advice here, of course, is to start off slow.  No need to jump in full force and risk being turned off by something too intense right off the bat.  Ease into it and you may find you enjoy it.

6) A location: Everyone one is entitled to an "off day".  Who knows what is going on with someone when you walk into a store, restaurant, hotel, or other hospitality venue.  Have you ever heard rave reviews about a place and then try it only to be disappointed?  I have.  There are two factors that come to mind with this scenario.  The first is that we create these unrealistic expectations based on the hype.  Anything that is below that will be an instant disappointment.  The second is that people are only people.  Things happen...the chef has called out sick, the server had a fight with a family member before getting to work, the manager is dealing with a many things that happen each day throw someone off their "A game".  You never know what is going on that makes something just not up to your standards or expectations.  Remember that we are all only human and that things happen.  So when you have a bad experience somewhere, consider the big picture.  Don't be afraid to try it out again.  You can always express your concerns to the establishment and hope that they learn from their mistakes.  However, there is no reason to write the place off all together.  If you don't like it the second time, at least you tried, and now you know that your personality just doesn't mesh with that establishment.  No big deal, it happens to everyone, at least those who I know.

So, Ryan and I did just that.  We gave this restaurant called Tropical Point a second chance.  It was a long time in the works, over a year, with multiple thoughts of returning, but never following through.  Yes, the initial experience was THAT BAD.  Ok, my fish was acceptable, but Ryan had a hamburger that left us questioning it's origin.  The reviews we heard from friends were mixed, but the fact that others had just as bad of an experience as us really turned us off.  Now, I am not one to lie, so I will come clean and admit that I did have an ulterior motive in dragging Ryan back to Tropical Point.  See, I write a blog for the local military stationed here to act as a guide in navigating the island, and I really needed pictures and a review for my blog.  When we ate there before it was pre-blog and I therefore don't have pictures.  I was also hoping to have a more positive experience the second time because I don't want to write anything entirely negative about a local establishment.

Here is Tropical Point:
The location is really the selling point for this place.  It is right by the beach and doesn't close between lunch and dinner, which is rare around here.

The meal started off with the basics.
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A nice bonus was the garlic bread in addition to the regular bread with goat cheese.
In anticipation of the "dreaded" meal, we enjoyed some house wine.  And enjoyed it we did!
It made us a little nervous that the owner(?) was hovering over the table while we waited.  He was constantly checking to make sure we were ok, but we remained relaxed and enjoyed the time we had together.

Then came the meal.  This time we were cautious with what we ordered.  Clearly the snack food was best left to enjoy when you have had quite a few beers.  We both went with fish.  Ryan had the wreckfish and I had the boca negra, which I now know is a black mouthed rockfish.  I eat this all the time so I am familiar with the preparation.  I figured this was a tough one to mess up and if they did, I would know right away.
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GOOD NEWS!!!  It was not as awful as the first time.  I am really glad we went back.  Although not the best meal we have ever had, it was at least average, and that was a good thing.  No one got sick this time and we would not dread going back.  I am not sure if we ever will go back again, but it was worth it to give Tropical Point a second chance.

QUESTIONS:  Do you ever give second chances? What have you given a second chance recently?  Any foods you need to give a second chance?


Tricia said...

I like trying out new places, but will admit I rarely go back if I have a bad experience. We don't eat out often, so I hate wasting a "treat" with a bad experience. Happy your second chance worked out!

Biz said...

I like your new picture on the top right Melinda! :D

Usually if we have a shitty time at a place, its extremely rare if we go back. And we usually can't go based off of recommendations - we have this one couple that raves about restaurants, we go, and the food is horrible.

So now my husband wants me to ask them what their horrible restaurants are and we might like them!

Ameena said...

I always try to give people/restaurants/foods, etc. more than one try. I am the kind of person who moves on quickly though - this is a problem for me!

I'm so glad that your second attempt worked out well! Everything looks delicious.

chow and chatter said...

fun post I need to give a lot of restaurants a second chance

Gina; The Candid RD said...

I'm glad you enjoyed your meal! I'll be honest, while I'm all about second chances I rarely give restaurants a second chance. That's how cheap I am :) I also like to try new places if I'm going to spend money out (although I know you and Ryan only have so many places you can go on that island).

I agree with you about second chances with food. I gave a talk to 7th graders the other day and told them they had to promise me that whatever foods (veggies in particular) they hate now, they MUST try again in five years! I used to have chunky PB, now I LOVE IT. Same with almonds, and coconut.

Kristen (swanky dietitian) said...

This is a good post..definitely got my thinking. I love that you threw in true!
I have given seafood a few chances. I ended up liking swordfish!

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